This will not answer the question "what have you been up to in Tijuana?" I simply wish to express how I have been feeling lately. I miss Cuernavaca. I find myself daydreaming about how rich and full my life was there, and how much I wish I could get back to that space, that being. I just can't seem to find it when I am away from Cuerna. Not to say that I don't like being in Tijuana, but life here is difficult. In Cuerna, yes, life is difficult, but there is an air being carefree, positive, and socially concerned. What I have learned is that, as to be expected, is that Tijuana is complicated. It's stuck between third world and first world and ridden with social and ethnic problems because of that. For me, I miss being able to walk the streets and feel secure. I miss the coffee shops and the big mercado, and even the over-crowded sidewalks. Here in La Gloria, there isn't a lot of movement and it feels kind of depressed, and there is no art, no cafe, no mercado, no amusement but the soccer field that I run around...almost daily. Perhaps I am a bit of a city girl. I just feel intellectually dull here...like I've already learned all that I possible could have and now it is up to me to make my stay interesting. What I know about Cuerna is that there are active communities that are interested in things that I am, that would invite me to participate: liberation theology groups, salsa classes, my host family, social change groups, etc. I'm bored here, and that is not good. I'm too active of a person to do the same thing day in and day out when it is not intellectually challenging (or at least stimulating!). Then again, maybe it is good that I am identifying what I want/don't want. Maybe development isn't for me and I should stick to policy/advocacy! haha! I am trying to learn from all of this, not run from the strange feelings I have here, but try to decipher them so that they guide me in the future. Such is life I suppose.
Cheers!
aly
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